this is another letter of complaint from my website of (homo)sexual assault that is
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna
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regarding anti-transgendered attitudes at cranberry township's walmart:

this morning, i saw and bought two pairs of "danskin" shorts in the girls' department. it's summertime, and walmart refuses to sell shorts for men that are actually short, so why shouldn't a man who's nearly 42 years old buy shorts for girls if they fit him? i got home, i wondered why i didn't buy more than two pairs, so i went back to the girls' department to find them.

apparently, a pair of shorts on the rack are longer than the same pair on my body, so i was wandering around the girls' department and looking for shorts that were as short as the ones on my body. maybe it's my fault, for being "traumatically brain-injured" and not realizing that the shorts i was wearing would seem longer on a rack, but maybe someone could have told me that. i asked a worker where the shorts i had on would be, and she showed me shorts but agreed that they were not short enough to be the shorts i was wearing.

well, i ripped the tag on the inside of my shorts off, and i gave it to her. it took her a while to look it up, but she said she was sold out. like elvis presley (or balki bartokomous doing an elvis impression), i have a "suspicious mind," but i took her word for it. so, i proceeded to find other shorts in the girls' department that were actually short. i found some, and went to try them on.

i got to the dressing-rooms and asked an old man with a cane if he could unlock the door. "is that underwear," he asked, and i said "no, they're shorts". when he had unlocked it, i was ready to go in, and he slams the end of his cane against the wall next to me to block me from walking past him. then he calls me a "creeper," and i told him that i was not sure what he meant, and he says "you fucking know what i'm talking about". he told me that people are watching me, as if i wasn't already aware of that fact enough to tailor my public appearances in an effort to accommodate it. i am a reality-show, all the world is my stage...and i was once a disciple of madonna's, so warren beatty's "she doesn't want to LIVE off camera, much less talk" quote about her would also apply to me. anyway, the man with a cane also told me that - let me quote - "something's going to happen to you one of these days". i paused, then i told him that i felt threatened - though he wouldn't have heard the sarcasm unless he had "the shining" and could read peoples' minds like in that old movie.

what else did he say? let me check my phone, because i sent myself a voicemail while i was in the dressing-room. hold on...

oh, i guess i remembered everything i said on the voicemail. that's surprising. hmn...anyway, here are my complaints: 1) the lady didn't tell me that the shorts i had on were the same shorts that were on the rack. even after i gave her the tag with the upc-code on it. i'm sorry if my brain-injury doesn't let me see what is obvious to most people, but she could have told me of my mistake. 2) the old man who unlocks the dressing-room's doors said a lot of stuff that was threatening and either anti-gay or anti-tranny. i'm a man who has been wearing clothes for the shorter/smaller/weaker/less hungry/less horny/slower gender every summer for years, it's a matter of staying comfortable, but i can argue that i am a transvestite because i dress in these clothes. dare i say that i'm just a sweet transvestite, but i am. everybody loves me once they get to know me, and i'm not the only one who thinks that.

please help to reprimand the staff.

dylan terreri, i

dylan terreri, i
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna

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